Getting a divorce from a spouse who you have children with can be one of the most difficult and emotional times of your life. Unfortunately, this same emotional and psychological stress often carries over to your former spouse, and subsequently, to the children as well. This is one of the biggest mistakes you can make during an Illinois divorce; causing negative consequences may be seen immediately, but also can have terrible long term effects on the childrens’ physical and mental health.
Children of divorced parents very often get caught in the middle of all the conflict the process causes at no fault of their own. In fact, divorcing spouses frequently place undue pressure on their children without even realizing it. This can be a result of overcompensation for the separation, reflection of personal issues, as well as many other reasons many times not ever considered. The negative results, however, can remain consistent.
Consider the following detrimental behaviors, as well as their short and long term consequences on children of divorce:
Projecting insecurities on to your children: Divorce is a difficult time on everyone involved, and when spouses no longer have each other to rely on, they will often turn to their children for comfort without realizing the impact they are having. Divorce by nature makes children insecure, and when you turn to them rather than the reverse, it can exacerbate the problem further.
Indirect blame by not addressing issues: One of the most commonly seen problems with children of divorce is the issue of blame. These children often blame themselves for the failure of a marriage, and this can stay with them for a long time, causing anxiety, depression, and even problems such as obesity and substance abuse.
Proverbially choosing sides: Although there is conflicting research on many divorce issues, it is almost universally accepted that children are infinitely better off when raised by both parents as equally as possible. A child may rebel against one or both parents during divorce, but it is important to ensure a dual presence in their lives.
It is important to remember during any Illinois divorce that preservation of the stability of your children must come before anything. Unfortunately, between the unintended harm you can often cause, as well as attempting to anticipate the actions of your former spouse, this can be a difficult task.
You should consult with an experienced Illinois family law attorney whenever dealing with child custody and divorce issues. With five offices in the Chicago, Illinois area, the Abear Law Offices will assist you every step of the way in your case. Contact the experienced family law attorneys today for professional family law assistance.