The start of each year is a great time to set new goals and let go of any past negativity. While moving past unresolved feelings towards your divorce can be difficult, your new, post divorce life can only begin to improve when you let go of any unnecessary negativity and move on. Millions of other people have divorced and recovered, and now, you should too. While thinking about putting your divorce behind you this year, here are a few strategies to consider:
Develop New Interests
For many people, divorce opens up free time that was not available when married. Take advantage of this time, and find a new interest, hobby, or passion to pursue. Spend some time with yourself and decide what you would enjoy doing. Maybe you have a passion you never got around to pursuing. Maybe you already dabbled in your interest when you were married but never truly had the time to commit yourself fully. This year, you have the chance. Continue your education, take dance classes, attend foreign film showings; the world is now full of possibilities. If you are having a hard time motivating yourself, invite a friend to join you so you are not as likely to change your mind.
Try Not to Talk about Your Divorce
Like any major life change, divorce takes time to recover from. Many divorced people experienced a time of grieving, but lingering over your divorce for too long is unhealthy. One beneficial strategy to help you move on is to try your best not to bring up your divorce. In the initial stages of divorce recover, right after the divorce takes place, expressing your feelings and emotions is completely necessary. As time moves on, however, it becomes easy to dwell on the leftover negativity and unresolved feelings.
Once the grieving process is over, try not to bring your divorce up in conversations. Doing so will only keep you in a negative space. If unresolved feelings are weighing so heavily on you that you feel the need to talk more about your divorce, seek the help of a therapist. Continually bringing up your divorce to your friends and children is not beneficial, and is especially difficult for children who are likely still dealing with unresolved feelings themselves.
Understand Your Financial Situation
Post divorce life is all about newfound independence, but to enjoy that you need to have an understanding of your financial situation. Often recently divorced people continue to live a lifestyle that is no longer affordable to them as a single person, and they quickly find themselves in financial trouble. Being realistic about your financial situation is extremely important.
If you were not in charge of the finances during your marriage, now is the time to start learning. Seek the help of a financially savvy friend or a professional financial advisor if necessary. If you worked during your marriage, the process may be easier. If you did not, now may be the time to start looking for new sources of income. Cutting back on expenses may be necessary as well. Maybe you will need to consider moving, or getting a cheaper car. These can be difficult decisions to make, but the consequences of living outside of your means can leave you even more unhappy than you were before your divorce. Tough decisions now can lead to complete financial independence in the future.
Allow Your Love Life to Move On
Moving on romantically post divorce can be difficult, and while you still may be recovering from your divorce, be open to the possibility and likelihood that you will one day have a ‘first date.’ Maybe it will be great, and maybe it will not, but simply being open to the experience is a great step towards moving past your divorce. The process is going to take practice, and depending on how long you were previously married, the idea of dating may seem very foreign to you. That said, keep yourself hopeful and open, and try not to pass up opportunities that seem potentially promising.
Healing from divorce can be difficult, and there is no cure-all to make the process easier. Taking small steps to keep ourselves mentally healthy and happy can make the healing go by faster and help push us towards the next chapter of our lives. If you are having trouble getting over your divorce, seek the help of a professional therapist or counselor.
Divorce itself is a stressful process, but things can be easier when working with skilled divorce attorneys. At Abear Law Offices, our team is equipped to handle a wide variety of divorce related matters including complex divorces, cases involving child custody, domestic violence, and more. If you are considering a divorce, contact an experienced DuPage county divorce attorney within our office today. Call 630-904-3033 to schedule a meeting today.