Divorce happens all the time, and for a variety of different reasons. Even couples in happy marriages can be caught off guard by something unexpected that may lead to divorce. While most people do not get married expecting a divorce down the road, many people wonder if there are any signs that indicate that a relationship may be headed towards divorce. Thanks to research from psychologists at the University of Washington and the University of California at Berkeley, we now know there may be four tell tale behaviors that may exist within your relationship that could indicate you and your partner are headed towards divorce. While only you and your partner can truly determine if you are happy and compatible, if you notice that you or your loved one exhibits any of these four behaviors frequently, you may be in trouble.
Frustration and negativity is expected in a marriage from time to time, but contempt is far more dangerous. Contempt is a toxic mixture of anger and disgust, and if either you or your partner feels contempt towards the other, you may not last much longer. As one psychologist says, contempt is “the kiss of death” and ruins many relationships on it’s own. Contempt is dangerous because it usually involves one spouse seeing the other as beneath them. If you or your partner feels smarter or better than the other, how can you be sensitive the other’s needs and feelings. In a marriage, both spouse’s opinions and feelings need to be treated equally.
While constant arguing with your partner is not necessarily a good time, stonewalling, or ignoring your partner before or during an argument, is often much worse. Do you or your partner pull out your cellphone or walk away the moment an argument is about to start? Healthy couples will argue from time to time, and completely avoiding arguments means you and your spouse are not addressing your real issues. If you and your spouse have conflict, solve the problems. If nobody is talking, it may be a sign that it is time to move on.
Conflict between spouses can be tough, but both parties need to own up to their own role in whatever situation arises. If you or your partner is always playing the victim, you may be guilty of defensiveness. A marriage is a partnership, and both spouses need to take responsibility for themselves.
Most married couples encounter things about each other that they dislike. Criticism occurs when you or your partner takes a behavior and turns it into a statement about the other’s character. If your partner does something you dislike, tell them about it, gently, and move on. If you start to build up criticism towards your spouse, it can lead to resentment and contempt.
Do You Need a Divorce Attorney?
If you notice any of these behaviors in your marriage, do not panic. Simply acknowledging the issues, and understanding that you and your partner may be hurting your relationship, is the first step towards preventing a divorce. That said, in some cases, a divorce may be necessary.
If you believe you are headed towards divorce, you need the help of a qualified Wheaton divorce attorney. The skilled lawyers at Abear Law Offices will work vigorously to ensure a beneficial outcome for you and your children. Call 630-904-3033 to speak to a member of our team today and to review your case.