It can be overwhelming to think you might be facing the end of your marriage. When you took your vows, you promised to be together for the rest of your lives. But now, months, years or even decades later, you find yourself unable to relate to your partner and ultimately, unhappy in your marriage. You are not a failure. Your partner is not a failure. People change as they mature and sometimes, spouses make mistakes that break their marriages beyond repair. When you are at this point in your marriage, it is often healthiest for all parties involved for you to seek a divorce.
Do Not Stay Together for the Children
Although you might be tempted to remain in your marriage so your children can have a nuclear family, this can lead to strained relationships and resentment between all family members. In many cases, it is better for children if their parents divorce. Being in a household where yelling, fighting, and manipulation are a part of the daily routine is far more damaging to children than spending time in two separate households.
When You Have No Relationship
A marriage where the partners simply live as roommates is not productive for either party. As couples grow together and work through challenges such as careers, parenthood, and the obstacles that arise as they move from early adulthood through middle age and beyond, sometimes individuals’ personalities change to the point that they are unrecognizable to their partners. Ask yourself the following questions to determine if you are in a productive relationship:
- Do I respect my partner?
- Can I relate to my partner?
- Do I enjoy spending time with my partner?
- Do our opinions on the fundamental things in life, such as money management, lifestyle, religion, childcare, and political philosophies clash to the point that we cannot respectfully communicate or work together?
- Would I be happier without him or her?
Many couples who experience these types of issues opt to pursue marital counseling. This option can save your marriage if you and your partner are able to work out your disagreements in a productive manner and develop strategies to work together. If counseling does not work, divorce can be inevitable. If you opt to divorce because of a deteriorated relationship, your reason for divorce is known as irreconcilable differences.
When Domestic Violence Occurs
Get out. If you have been a victim of domestic violence or faced threats of violence from your partner, you need to get out of your relationship as soon as you can. Domestic violence is not limited to physical violence. It can include emotional or psychological abuse, sexual abuse, or financial manipulation. If necessary, obtain a restraining order against your former partner to ensure that he or she stays away from you.
Divorce Attorneys in DuPage County
When you know your marriage is over, do not feel ashamed of seeking a divorce. Contact Abear Law Offices to discuss your case with one of our team’s experienced Wheaton divorce attorneys and learn more about proceeding with your divorce. We can provide you with legal advice and representation as you work through this often difficult, confusing process.