Being a parent is tough. Add divorce into the mix and things can become even more complicated. With parenting plans, child support, and custody issues to deal with, co-parenting can be stressful and challenging at times. It is a lot to handle, but millions of families successfully co-parent each year. How do they do it? Great co-parents are flexible, willing to set aside their differences, and most importantly, great co-parents put their children’s needs above their own. Below, check out a few tips to help you and your ex develop a healthy co-parenting relationship both you and your children will appreciate.
Before we get into the tips, it is important to remember one thing. Your divorce does not mean you are a bad parent. Your relationship may not have worked out, but that does not mean you and your ex can not build a healthy co-parenting relationship. Shifting from divorce to great co-parenting is possible, even in messy divorce cases, but a strong co-parenting relationship requires effort from both parties. If both you and your ex are willing to become stronger, happier co-parents, try some of the following tactics.
Put Your Children First
This may sound like an obvious tactic, but it is something that co-parents often forget. Every decision you make as a co-parent should be in the best interest of your kids. Forget the unresolved tension left over from your divorce. Forget any anger you are feeling. Turn your focus to raising your children as best as you can. Both co-parents need to understand that any issues they may have between themselves should not impact their children.
Avoid Micro Managing
Everyone has different parenting styles and strategies. When co-parenting, it can be challenging to accept your co-parent’s parenting style. While you and your co-parent may differ when it comes to handling some situations, it is important that both of you accept each other’s parenting styles and avoid micromanaging. Of course, if anything your co-parent is doing is harmful to your child, speak up. If it is something as small as forcing your child to clean their plate or not, it is best to simply bite your tongue. Accepting that there are two different parenting styles in your new family dynamic will strengthen your co-parenting relationship.
Flexibility Is Key
Flexibility is one of the building blocks of great co-parenting relationships. Remember, life is unpredictable, and it is important to work with your co-parent when things come up. If your ex asks for you to pick up your child an hour early, be flexible. At some point, you will need a favor, so it is important that both you and your ex be willing to adjust for each other as needed. Of course, if changes are requested constantly, or if your co-parent is ignoring your court ordered parenting plan, there are steps you can take to correct the problem. If they are only minor inconveniences, however, do your best to be understandin
g and accommodating.
Family Support You Can Trust
At Abear Law Offices, we offer a wide variety of family law and divorce solutions. If you are in need of legal assistance due to child custody, parenting, paternity, divorce, or other family matters, contact a qualified DuPage County family law attorney today. Call 630-904-3033 to set up a free consultation to learn more about the quality representation we provide.